lucid moments, the conclusion is grimly uncomplicated. Exhausting one convict
given free range of endless prison can be as simple as breaking the levers off
every surface in his Skinner box. Everywhere to chart and nothing to earn for
the effort: no task but sacrificial anniversaries, a guarantee of my madness.
Yes, your accounting of my condition is precise. I will recite here with all
efforts of possible clarity, so that you might quote directly to underwriters.
I am doubly-married to indolence and aggression, or perhaps I am as addicted
to fantasy as I am to vengeance.
When met with branch in maze or mind it is the same: I chance direction, I
follow whim. I trace, or perhaps retrace, until I have found what I seek.
My brute skill in foresight is peerless, I expect this is the prize of my
interrogation. I always answer what is asked of me, for I can never begrudge
prediction as a tool to pass time.
I find that plodding through memory or prophecy requires as much time and
effort as could be required to cover similar distance in the world. There is
real risk in this, for I can think no thing so singular as the red cord to
track the scheming I's passage down tunnels of potential. The side-corridors
are now more than ever in bloom. I only dare to proceed as far as my record
threshold of retrieval. I am only mostly certain the fact of this letter
resides in prime plot and not detour. I have lived long enough to know that I
will not find my beginning, so I make careful expeditions toward my end.
given free range of endless prison can be as simple as breaking the levers off
every surface in his Skinner box. Everywhere to chart and nothing to earn for
the effort: no task but sacrificial anniversaries, a guarantee of my madness.
Yes, your accounting of my condition is precise. I will recite here with all
efforts of possible clarity, so that you might quote directly to underwriters.
I am doubly-married to indolence and aggression, or perhaps I am as addicted
to fantasy as I am to vengeance.
When met with branch in maze or mind it is the same: I chance direction, I
follow whim. I trace, or perhaps retrace, until I have found what I seek.
My brute skill in foresight is peerless, I expect this is the prize of my
interrogation. I always answer what is asked of me, for I can never begrudge
prediction as a tool to pass time.
I find that plodding through memory or prophecy requires as much time and
effort as could be required to cover similar distance in the world. There is
real risk in this, for I can think no thing so singular as the red cord to
track the scheming I's passage down tunnels of potential. The side-corridors
are now more than ever in bloom. I only dare to proceed as far as my record
threshold of retrieval. I am only mostly certain the fact of this letter
resides in prime plot and not detour. I have lived long enough to know that I
will not find my beginning, so I make careful expeditions toward my end.
Letters From the Beast in Crete by jefferson tesla, page 7